Friday Fun: "The Simpsons" Go Literary

I would never describe myself as a "Simpsons fan," but once and a while, it gives me a good chuckle. And I will say that I can relate more than I'd like to admit to Lisa... So this morning, when Book Riot pointed me in the direction of something I wouldn't have noticed about the show(ya know, not being a "Simpsons fan" and all :-p) I knew I'd found something I wanted to share with you all (and some new episodes I wanted to watch).

So, for today's Friday Fun, I give you....*drumroll please* eight of the best Simpsons literary references (courtesy of CBC books)!

Leon Uris 

The influential American novelist was known for his extensively researched, compelling but dense historical novels like Exodus and Mila 18. During one episode of The Simpsons, local hillbilly stereotype Cletus Delroy Spuckler can be seen in the library holding a copy of Uris’s acclaimed novel about Irish nationalism Trinity. But Cletus isn’t a literature fan – he's about to use the nearly 900-page book to crush a turtle for his lunch because “nothing cracks a turtle like Leon Uris.”

Bart the Raven 

Who could forget [this] amazing, epic adaptation of The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe in the very first “Treehouse of Horror” Halloween special? The bit receives a boost of gravitas thanks to the baritone narration of actor James Earl Jones. The show would also reference Poe’s short story The Tell-Tale Heart in a later episode in which Lisa competes against a schoolmate rival in a diorama competition. 

The Bread Loaf Writers' Conference 

In a famous season 18 episode, Lisa and aspiring poet Moe attends the “Word Loaf” conference, a parody of the Bread Loaf festival, which is considered the oldest and most prestigious annual writers’ summit in the U.S. This episode featured four literary heavyweight guests, including Michael Chabon, Jonathan Franzen, Tom Wolfe and Gore Vidal. However, in a room full of literary egos, tensions will rise. One of the hilarious highlights of the episode is when Michael Chabon shouts “That’s it, Franzen! I think your nose needs some Corrections!” before the two get into a fist fight. 

A Tale of Two Cities 

Fans of the show will remember the time when the writers turned the indelible opening lines of Charles Dickens’s classic novel about the French revolution (“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times …”) into a joke involving the infinite monkey theorem. The infinite monkey theorem basically suggests that an infinite number of monkeys hitting random keys on typewriters will eventually type out a given text, such as a Dickens’s novel. During an episode in the fourth season, Homer finds himself leading a union battle with his power plant Mr. Burns. The irascible Burns, in a show of the absurd power and resources he commands, takes a Homer on a tour and shows him “1000 monkeys working at a 1000 typewriters. Soon they’ll have written the greatest novel known to man!” Except Burns randomly pulls out a page from one of his monkey writers, which reads: “It was the best of times… it was the blurst of times?!!” Suffice to say, that monkey was probably fired. 

Thomas Pynchon 

Only an iconic show like The Simpsons could entice reclusive writer Thomas Pynchon to satirize himself, not once, but twice! The Gravity’s Rainbow author, known for avoiding interviews and public appearances, contributed two speaking parts throughout the years. Our favourite: when Marge becomes a novelist and asks Pynchon for a blurb, he responds: "Here's your quote: Thomas Pynchon loved this book, almost as much as he loves cameras!" The paper bag Pynchon also appeared briefly, in an unspoken cameo, in the World Loaf episode. 

Amy Tan at the Springfield Festival of Books 

This episode featured an appearance from The Joy Luck Club author Amy Tan and took a humourous jab at literary criticism. When Lisa gets the chance to address one of her literary heroes, Tan immediately crushes the girl’s interpretation of her writing. “No, that’s not what I meant at all. I can’t believe how wrong you got it. Just sit down, I’m embarrassed for both of us.”  

Goodnight Moon, Walken-style 

Who doesn’t remember reading this classic children’s book? Well, The Simpsons writers
took that nostalgia and gave it a Christopher Walken edge. Walken himself doesn’t appear in the episode (he’s impersonated by actor Jay Mohr), but one of the funniest literary references is when Marge points out Walken reading Goodnight Moon with his intense, signature delivery to a bunch of terrified kids. 

The Ghost of Pippi Longstocking 

While on summer holiday, Lisa meets a group of cool kids and takes the chance to re-
invent herself as a laid-back beach bum. But she one day passes a library and her love of reading and learning becomes hard to repress. In one memorable scene, a spectre of Pippi Longstocking appears amidst the bookstacks and begs Lisa: "Read about my adventures in the South Seas! Make me live again!" 

See the original post HERE

Grammar Is For Musicians, Too

Ahh, Weird Al. You have always had a special place in my heart. You even were there for my brother on his wedding day when his groomsman walked into the reception to "White and Nerdy." And now, you are here for me and my editing career with your newest parody, "Word Crimes."

Much love to ya, buddy.

GalleyCat gives us the official scoop:

What are your grammar pet peeves? Grammy Award-winning musician and picture book author Weird Al Yankovic has released a new music video for his song “Word Crimes” (a parody of Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines”). 

The video (embedded above), the second of eight being released from July 14th to July 21st, was unleashed earlier this afternoon and has already attracted more than 7,900 “thumbs ups” on YouTube. An announcement on Facebook has drawn more than 11,000 “likes.” 

In an interview with NPR, Yankovic explained that he wrote this parody partly because of his personal obsession with grammar. The song itself discusses conjugation, contractions, spelling, homophones, proper word usage, and more. It can be found on Yankovic’s 14th studio album, “Mandatory Fun.” Follow this link to check out the lyrics. 

See the original post HERE

Monday Afternoon Amusement...Starring Hitler

Just as I was starting to lose complete focus today, my boss shared this little gem with me regarding the Penguin Random House merger announced last week.

It is a bit insensitive, so if you are easily offended, pass this one by.

I, however, found it hilarious.

HITLER REACTS TO THE PENGUIN RANDOM HOUSE MERGER

Hotel Abandons Bibles in Guest Rooms for Something More...Fun

Whenever I travel and stay at a hotel, I always look to see if there is a Bible in the room. Not because I actually want to read it but because I just want to know if it is there.

In a country that claims religious freedom, it bothers me tremendously that so many hotels still employ such a practice. If you really want to be nondiscriminatory, you'd need to have every religious text in the room, not just that of a single sect. Or even better, don't put any in there. If people feel strongly that they require a Bible on a trip, they should bring one with them.

Alas, it is not a perfect world.

One hotel owner in England, however, is trying to make it closer to perfect by swapping out every Bible in his hotel for....50 Shades of  Grey, according to Overhead Bin on NBC.com:

Bibles in nightstands are a familiar amenity for hotel guests, but travelers seeking to read their favorite verse at one establishment will be in for a big surprise.

The Damson Dene Hotel, which touts itself as the perfect destination for a “peaceful break away from it all” in England’s picturesque Lake District, is making quite a noise for replacing the Bible with “Fifty Shades of Grey” in its 40 guest rooms.

The steamy novel — part of a trilogy by author E.L. James — has become a worldwide blockbuster thanks in large part to the graphic sex scenes that have its main characters engaging in bondage, sadomasochism and other exploits.

Damson Dene owner Jonathan Denby, who bought the hotel from a Methodist group 10 years ago, said he had been pondering for a long time what to do with the Gideons Bibles that had been placed in the rooms by the previous proprietors.

He decided that in a modern secular society it was “wholly inappropriate” to keep a religious book in people’s private bedrooms, so the search was on for a replacement.

“I was thinking originally of putting in a book by Ayn Rand — ‘Atlas Shrugged’ was my first thought,” Denby told NBC News.

“(But) because everybody is reading ‘Fifty Shades of Grey,’ we thought it would be a hospitable thing to do, to have this available for our guests, especially if some of them were a little bit shy about buying it because of its reputation.”

The choice to offer “Fifty Shades of Grey” was done purely for fun and just because the novel is so popular, not for any deep philosophical reason, Denby added, noting that he himself has not read the book.

The switch was made earlier this month, prompting cheers, jeers and lots of media attention.

Not surprisingly, the local vicar has been an outspoken critic. The Rev. Michael Woodcock — the parish priest at St. Mary’s Church in Crosthwaite, where the hotel is located — declined to comment for this article, but he told British media that the hotel’s decision is just a gimmick.

“It is a great shame that Bibles have been removed from rooms and very inappropriate to have been replaced by an explicit erotic novel,” Woodcock told The Westmorland Gazette.

“The Bible remains a source of comfort and inspiration that many people do find helpful.”

The hotel has also received plenty of public feedback criticizing the move, most of it from the United States, Denby noted. The Gideons Bible isn’t as common in England as it is in the U.S., he added.

“People in the States feel much more strongly,” he said. “We’ve had quite a few e-mails quoting the scriptures to us and suggesting that it would be a good thing to put the Bible back.”

Still, most guests “have loved” discovering “Fifty Shades of Grey” in their rooms, Denby said. The hotel is also accommodating those who want to read the Bible, updating its guest handbooks to let travelers know that copies are available at the reception desk.

“We’re not disposing of the books. We’re keeping them and if people want to borrow them, then they’re very welcome to,” Denby said.

Read the original post HERE

Books and Dating

On the bookshelf across the room right now I can see a copy of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Dating. No, I am not in my apartment, but yes, I am curious about what is inside the pages. Even just seeing a book about dating reminds reminds me how perpetually intertwined books and dating are in my life, though it took me a long time to realize it.

I'd always told myself I didn't need someone to share my deep love of reading, that differences are intriguing and compelling. And while I still believe the latter, I've realized that I can't date someone who doesn't enjoy reading. They don't have to like the same books as me, but they need to understand what's so special about reading and respect and appreciate it to a decent extent. Otherwise, they won't understand a huge part of who I am.

The Huffington Post tackled a similar subject in its Books section last week, but with a bit of a silly flair to it: 9 Books That Make You Undateable.

Yes, that's right.

They picked out nine books that should make you head for the hills if your date describes one of them as his or her "favorite" (and HuffPo tells you why).

While I don't necessarily agree with the reality of this concept, it certainly got me thinking (and chuckling):

There's a lot of red tape to cut through before completely committing to a relationship: There's the ex talk, the meeting of the parents, and if you're a literature nerd there's the unavoidable conversation about your respective favorite books.

We hold our breath and hope for Woolf or Wharton or Waugh--anything but Rand!--because a person's favorite book is like a family member or a mantra. It's an essential component of their life and can paint a pretty clear picture of their character.

A Jane Austen girl might be lovably fiery, if a bit traditional, and a Christopher Hitchens guy could play devil's advocate over issues both large and trivial (he may also live a double life as a compulsive Internet commenter).

Ryan Britt says in an article for GOOD Magazine's "Dealbreaker" series that a date reading the wrong kind of books, or reading for the wrong reasons, is a deal breaker. In Britt's case, his beaux read solely to seem objectively smart, and never to enjoy the plot or language. He writes:

“What’s your favorite book?” I asked. “I mean, of all time. Any subject. Favorite book. Go.” 

Without hesitation, she said: “1984,” then quickly, “by George Orwell.”

I suppose she didn’t want me to confuse it with the Danielle Steele version. I was irritated. 1984? What a drag. Sure, it’s iconic. But the characters are thin, and if you really want to read some Orwell, "Keep the Aspidistra Flying" is his better work, and—but I didn’t say any of these things. I could get over this. I could get over 1984 being her favorite book. I could get over all of her ignorant claims about just shooting off a book, an important one. I could maybe even be supportive and helpful in this endeavor. There was just one thing I needed to know.

“When is the last time you read it?” I asked. I was 28 years old. She was 32.

She blinked and said, “I don’t know. High school.”

And just like that, it was over.

 Harsh? Capricious? We don't think so. Here are nine other books that merit praise, but if your significant other cites them as numero uno, we'd proceed with caution:

"A Confederacy of Dunces" -- Quoted by do-nothings everywhere.

"On the Road" -- Spontaneous, maybe, and a helluva romantic, but if you're looking for commitment, your "On the Road" lover will likely be too busy burn, burn, burning and "explod[ing] like spiders across the stars" to, you know, pay rent.

"The Silmarillion" -- It's probably a red flag if your beaux enjoys LOTR minutiae more than the stories themselves, which are conversely awesome.

"The Orestaia" -- Unless, of course, you're into the whole fatal revenge thing.  

"The Great Gatsby" -- Your Gatsby-loving partner may seem endearingly romantic at first, but the clinginess and the fact that their entire identity was constructed for your benefit may get to you.

"On Truth and Lies in a Nonmoral Sense" -- Your Nietzsche lover may insist that fidelity is a metaphorical concept that does not correspond to reality.

"A Lover's Discourse" -- Madeleine from "The Marriage Plot" learned the consequences of this book the hard way, when longtime boyfriend Leonard said to declare love is to undermine it.

"Anna Karenina" -- Somebody needs to lighten up.

"Atlas Shrugged" -- Enough said.

See the rest of the  original post HERE

P.S. An ex of mine's favorite book was totally The Silmarillion. But he and I are still great friends, so he can't  be all that bad! :-p

Friday Fun: Author Interview Hilarity

For a little Friday morning laugh, please enjoy Steve Carrell and Jon Stewart's spoof on the author interview, brought to my attention by this morning's Shelf Awareness:  

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Steve Carell
www.thedailyshow.com
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Comic actor Steve Carell (The Office) appeared on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart this week as a stunningly prolific and wide-ranging author, promoting his new book The Last Pharaoh: Egypt's Transition from the Mubarak Era.

Apparently Carell is a fast writer ("I like to write a lot of books."); his recent titles include 50 Shades of Yams: The Erotic Adventures of Produce Pete; Steve Carell by Steve Jobs: How I Imagine Steve Jobs Would Have Written a Biography of Me; and Hot Enough for You? A Book I Literally Wrote Today.

Carell scolded Stewart for not reading his works prior to the interview: "I thought you were the type of person who did their homework before the show."

Celebrity Hunger Games Hilarity

This article and video on The Huffington Post about "Meet the Lost Tributes of 'The Hunger Games' Tributes" cracks me up like whoa. The video was originally created by MTV After Hours and is just what I needed for a little pick-me-up!

Get More: Movie Trailers, Movies Blog

Sure, we've all spent hours daydreaming about what it would be like to be part of the cast of "The Hunger Games," but have you ever wondered what the movie would have been like had your favorite famous actors played the tributes -- instead of unknowns?

Enter "The Lost 'Hunger Games' Tributes Speak," a hilarious three-minute MTV video featuring actors like Max Greenfield, Chris Colfer, Chloe Moretz, Amber Rose, Vinny Guadagnino, and Questlove, who are "interviewed" as "lost" members of the cast that were cut from the film. Now, the "lost tributes" break their silence on the special survival skills they would have brought into the stadium.

Chloe Moretz explains that her character's specialty is looking great. "My favorite part is in the script when she makes a break for the cornucopia, and she goes straight for the hair products. Impractical? Yeah. But just because you're fighting for your life doesn't mean you shouldn't have great hair volume."

On the other hand, Max Greenfield's character, "Chutney McDougalbart" from District 43, has a special talent for creating elaborate balloon animals that would surely have served him well in the stadium. And Questlove, of course, would have brought some awesome beats to the final battle scene between Katniss, Peeta and Kato as house DJ of the cornucopia.

Need more awesome "Hunger Games" videos to tide you over until "Catching Fire"? Check out a brilliant Beanie Baby recreation in the video below -- or, if mini stuffed animals aren't your thing, don't miss this surprisingly realistic Lego version of the "Hunger Games" trailer.

See the original post HERE

 Please also note the "Beanie Baby Hunger Games" at the end of the article. *dies*

Jay-Z and Kanye Parody About Bookstores? Ok.

I was planning to write a real post today--there were a couple of timely topics of interest to me, like celebrity ghostwriting and eBooks for children v. adults. I actually have some opinions on these topics to share. But my day today is full of stress and overwhelming drama, so those more in-depth posts will have to wait, sadly.

Instead, I am going to share with you a funny parody I found on the HuffingtonPost.com:

Kanye West once infamously said, "I would never want a book's autograph." In light of this, we wonder how he would feel about Annabelle Quezada and La Shea Delaney's book nerd parody of his and Jay-Z's song "N*ggas in Paris."

Dubbed "B*tches in Bookshops," the girls make countless book geek references: Goodreads, Friday Reads, Foucault, Proust, Barthes...we could go on and on.

With lines like, "Read so hard librarians tryin’ ta FINE me­ /They can’t identify me/ Checked in with a pseudonym, so I guess you can say I’m Mark Twaining," we're hoping that these ladies make a follow up.

Check out the video below, and click here to visit Annabelle's blog, which also features a transcript of the lyrics:

See the original post HERE

Attention All DORIAN GRAY Fans

This is kind of hilarious.

Thank you, Flavorwire, for yet another random and entertaining break from the workday:

If you’ve ever wondered what your favorite literary characters might be listening to while they save the world/contemplate existence/get into trouble, or hallucinated a soundtrack to go along with your favorite novels, well, us too. But wonder no more! Here, we sneak a look at the hypothetical iPods of some of literature’s most interesting characters. What would be on the personal playlists of Holden Caulfield or Elizabeth Bennett, Huck Finn or Harry Potter, Tintin or Humbert Humbert? Something revealing, we bet. Or at least something danceable. Read on for a cozy reading soundtrack, character study, or yet another way to emulate your favorite literary hero. This week: everyone’s favorite hedonist, Dorian Gray.

In Oscar Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray, the eponymous character is a young, beautiful man who, after sitting for a portrait, finds that he no longer ages — but that each of his years and sins is reflected on the face of his painted self. Spurred on by his friends, lovers, and new sense of invincibility, he fully embraces the hedonistic life and the idea that the only things worth pursuing in life are those that feel good. Selfish, indulgent, and sometimes cruel, his portrait becomes uglier and uglier as he lives in this unchecked debauchery. Finally, of course, he must destroy the painting, destroying himself in the process. We think Dorian would have an iPod full of songs to fuel his party, reassure his ego, and lure girls to his side — what else could a handsome career partyboy ever need? Here’s what we think Dorian Gray would drink, indulge, and play Prince Charming to.

Stream the mixtape here.

“Look” — Sébastien Tellier

A master of seduction, we think Dorian Gray would pretty much swear by Sébastien Tellier. This may or may not be his closer.

“It’s a Curse” — Wolf Parade

We think the strange but sexy darkness of Wolf Parade would be on constant rotation in Gray’s pretty, twisted little head.

“The Greatest Man That Ever Lived” — Weezer

Dorian would sing along to every verse of this self-aggrandizing patchwork anthem.

“Heroin” — The Velvet Underground

For indulging his hedonism are much as humanly possible. We bet that the picture gets ten years older during this song.

“Boys Don’t Cry” — The Cure

We think Dorian would be most into the Cure’s Gothic phase — though he might dabble in other periods too. After all, he dabbles in everything.

“SexyBack” — Justin Timberlake

A modern ode to narcissism, we can see Dorian strolling through the VIP section with this playing in his head. Plus, he knows to listen to the songs that the girls like.

“Drunk Girls” — LCD Soundsystem

For embracing your hedonism.

“AA XXX” — Peaches

Dorian’s devotion to Peaches is indicative of his desire to try everything that might feel good — yes, everything. Bring it on.

“Horror Show” — The Libertines

This song would soundtrack Dorian’s more sinister drug-fueled ragers — plus, there is no way he wouldn’t pick up an album by a band called the Libertines.

“I’m Too Sexy” — Right Said Fred

For the ultimate narcissist, the ultimate song for singing into your hairbrush in the mirror.

See the original post HERE

Celebs Knocking Celebs--Funny or Fickle?

When skimming the Books page at HuffingtonPost.com this morning, a headline caught my eye: 'Celebrity Autobiography: The Next Chapter' Finds Unintended Humor in Stars' Memoirs.

At first I thought, "Oh man, this is going to be great!" but as I clicked in and started reading, I realized...it's kind of just mean! I know that's part of being famous and you open yourself up to scrutiny, especially when you write a not-so-good book, but come on now. Yes, some of it is hilarious, I'll admit, and the fact that many celebs have signed on to have their own work mocked is telling, but can't we create fresh humor anymore instead of just busting on other people for laughs? I've never been much for this kind of humor--SNL's constant people-bashing bothers me and only ever so often do I find those kinds of impressions actually funny. I don't get it...it's like sports fans who, instead of cheering for their own team, just put down the other teams. It drives me crazy!

I guess this turned to a slight rant about media these days in general and their lack of originality.
Whoops.

Anyway, take a peek at what the HuffPo has to say (and watch a sample video) and choose for yourself. I'm undecided:

Among the many lessons you'll learn when attending "Celebrity Autobiography: The Next Chapter": Joining the "mile-high" club is a lot more physically demanding, and considerably less erotic, than it looks. Italian really is the language of love -- at least for one of the world's biggest pop superstars.

And finally, don't ever, ever f**k with America's sweetheart.

Ironically, a bevy of America's sweethearts both past and present are among the many celebrities given a humorous roast in "Celebrity Autobiography," the laugh-out-loud, endearingly kitschy show currently playing at New York's Triad Theatre. A unique comedy stand-up/cabaret/one-act theatrical hybrid, the show features a talented rotating cast (many of them well-known stars or media personalities in their own right) reading verbatim, usually with a wink and a nudge, from a vast array of celebrity memoirs. The self-indulgent, often eye-rollingly smug musings of a number of Hollywood and MTV A-listers, from Justin Bieber to Suzanne Somers to Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, lend the show its crispy comedic edge.

The show is a mix of monologues using straightforward passages read aloud from a given book and what creator Eugene Pack likes to call "mash-ups": different celebs' accounts on a similar theme (for example, celebrity diets) or a specific incident (a clever segment that weaves together varying accounts of the Elizabeth Taylor/Eddie Fisher/Debbie Reynolds love triangle is one of show's highlights). Yet Pack insists the show is meant purely for humor rather than to be mean-spirited toward the material's A-list, and often legendary, authors.

"When you listen to these passages, it's funny to discover what people are willing to reveal, how they reveal it and how seriously they take it," Pack, who says he developed the idea for the show after reading excerpts of Vanna White's autobiography, told The Huffington Post. "We don't ever want the show to be perceived as being skewering of celebrities. A lot of the performers in the show are actually admirers and, in some cases, close friends of those who wrote the books. If anything, we're making fun of memoirs in their own right and why we, as an audience, are fascinated by these details."

Once Pack had firmed up the idea for "Celebrity Autobiography," he and co-producer Dayle Reyfel began scouting out material for the show via used book shops as well as the hottest new releases on the celebrity memoir market. The pair continue to refresh the evening's program with fresh passages; over 300 biographies have been covered in the show to date.

"You usually can skim through the book and see if the tone is right for the show," noted Reyfel, who also performs regularly. "Burt Reynolds has so much great material in his book; some books really are golden from beginning to end."

No doubt the success of "Celebrity Autobiography" also rests on the shoulders of its many performers. The Oct. 10 line-up featured Tony Danza, "Saturday Night Live" alum Rachel Dratch and Sherri Shepherd of "The View" (who revealed a surprisingly natural talented for mimicking celebrities' accents) but Kristen Wiig, Ryan Reynolds, Justin Long and even "Brady Bunch" matriarch Florence Henderson are among those who've also dropped in for a performance.

"It's a wonderful surprise for the audience," said "Saturday Night Live" and "Curb Your Enthusiasm" scribe Alan Zweibel, a regular performer in the show who lends a particularly dry wit to most of his readings. After recalling one night when he was required to physically lick Henderson during the show, Zweibel noted that, in many cases, the unintended joke is actually on the audience rather than the authors: "What's pervasive is the absolute, unmitigated ego of these celebrities who think that we care about these minute details of their lives. At the same time, everybody's got a story, and there is always someone out there who is buying these things."

Reyfel says she and Pack also maintain a running "wish list" of performers they hope to eventually feature in the show, including Ricky Gervais and Bette Midler. And to those who feel "Celebrity Autobiography" is too harsh on their idols, Pack is quick to point out that celebrities themselves have, in some cases, even suggested their memoirs for use in the show. "Brooke Shields wants us to read from her book," noted Pack. "Everyone usually seems game to jump in and really go for it."

See the original post HERE

Hump Day Humor: "Go the F*ck to Sleep"

I'm a bit behind on this one (it happened in June....errrr), but I just about died laughing when I finally saw it.

On June 14th, Werner Herzog, documentary filmmaker and narrator, reads aloud the hilarious childrens' book for adults Go the F*ck to Sleep by Adam Mansbach at the New York Public Library.

The Outlet tells us more:

The evening at the New York Public Library began with a recording of Werner Herzog reading a dirty book. Well, it isn’t a dirty book per se. What we have is a children’s book for adults that utilizes a double narrative from a frustrated parent. One is the straightforward lullaby that the child is meant to hear. The other is the internal monologue of a parent whose rage crescendos when the unaware child just won’t “go the fuck to sleep.” Said dual nature came across seamlessly when treated with Herzog’s narration last night, and with what one can hope will be multiple audio versions coming out in the future, I can see Go the Fuck to Sleep becoming a conduit for some pretty damn amazing performance art.

Read the full article HERE

And now....the video:

P.S. Can I just add how amazing it is that Samuel L. Jackson narrates the audio version?!

A Friday Afternoon Maimed Dog Toy Giggle...Yes, That's Right

I don't have much blogging energy today--it was a rough one in the office--but I saw this featured on the theHuffingtonPost.com and had to share the giggles:

Any dog or cat owner will speak of a favored toy that, in the course of being gnawed, shredded, punctured, torn, eviscerated, has become an indispensable companion to their pet. They will recount with wonder their pet's specific manner of ravaging this toy, or even try to convince you that a deliberate pattern of transformation is at work. But do they ever really see this bedraggled object of their beloved pet's desire?

For our new photo book "Chewed," we decided to take a close look at these comically distorted creatures. We began by coaxing these casualties of tough love from pet-owning friends. Soon we were swamped with boxes containing plush animals, rubber squeakies and unidentifiable bits and pieces. We photographed these slobbery victims in a formal yet humorous style as seen through the eyes of the adoring pet.

Below are excerpts from delightful and poignant short stories by contributors who were inspired by their favorite "Chewed" photograph: visit www.chewedbook.com.

Though Bunny is now missing the upper half of its body, one can easily imagine the lack of hesitation Dog displayed as it plucked Bunny's black button eyes from its face, the satisfying snap of thread as the flat discs popped from the soft skull.

The entire head was obviously devoured. And no matter how cute those floppy, bent-at-the-tip ears may have been, they were not cute enough to stop Dog from seizing and pulverizing them with his wolf-powered, drooling, gaping maw.

Bunny's throat was gleefully sawed open with inch-long front incisors, esophagus stuffing flying through the room as Dog shook his head violently, rabidly from side to side.

Torso? Gone. Belly? Gone...

Never get divorced in California. When they say you split everything down the middle, they mean everything. What hurt most is that I was there from the beginning - a corny Hollywood story you've heard a million times, but I really thought they were different. I'd been a prize in the free throw game at the Santa Monica pier for almost a year; it's not that nobody wanted me, they all did, but I was always just out of reach (10 in a row), til he came along, Johnny Nesbitt...

Q. *Gracie. What happened?

A. I can't remember the details. I blanked out. But I'll be honest I loved every minute of it. We'd been polite for years and then one day *Georgie just lost it and he started going for it.

Q. Is there any part of it you regret?

A. In my line of work it's what you expect. You come off the assembly line fresh and fluffy and you pray for this to happen. I don't know how I can explain it to you except to say it's what I'm created for.

Q. But from the looks of things there was violence.

A. Violence? Are you kidding? Try Ecstasy!

Q. Did you learn anything?

A. I learned to surrender. To live my life. I faced my worst fears and was delighted with the outcome. Okay maybe I'm not as beautiful as I was ten years ago but who is? I considered plastic surgery but I hate it. It's so obvious and desperate. Better to look your age...

See the original post HERE

*snerk*

Sneaky (and False) Hilarity in Washington, D.C.

This Congressional satire from our very own guest blogger, Dan Cabrera, will give you a chuckle on this tiring Monday night--or at least it did for me!

WASHINGTON, D.C. - According to some political watchdogs and alert members of the press, Representative Bill Flores (R-Texas) slipped in some of his novel-in-progress while reading a bill in the House of Representatives.

Flores was reading the bill, House Resolution 1409.21, or the Wildlife Preservation and Census Act, when he started reciting from a book he is writing. From what those in the chamber gathered, the congressman from Texas is working on a particularly steamy romance set on the high seas.

“Funds for the relocation of the Alaskan timberwolf will be appropriated from the closing of the yellow-tipped raptor-watching stations. Such funds shall be administered by an oversight committee set up by Lord Admiral Woolsey. The Admiral was in hot pursuit of the dreaded pirate Red Beard, the most notorious villain this side of Grenada,” Flores read. According to a C-SPAN transcript, Flores continued with his excerpt. “Lady Woolsey, the Admiral’s daughter, objected to her father’s business. Secretly, she longed for the pirate’s embrace, wishing to kiss his gold-toothed mouth and feel his fiery beard caress her cheeks.”

Read the rest of Dan's post HERE

(Don't worry. It's not true. Though I kind of wish it were.)

Hilarious and Oh-So-True Satire Hits YouTube

In my past four years in publishing, I've worked with a variety of different authors--some are kind, funny, stubborn, open, angry, paranoid, confident, self-absorbed, humble...I could list the possible characteristics all night if I wanted to (I do not). I've heard numerous stories about diva authors complaining because their hotel room on a book tour stop was on an odd numbered floor or their stylist was using the wrong brand of hairdryer. I've seen letters from authors after they've been rejected, kicking and screaming and throwing a tantrum because their book is "guaranteed to be a bestseller" and we "are morons to reject it." It's unbelievable how some people behave in this industry--in any industry in the public eye really.

And all of these experiences and stories came rushing back to me just now, when I saw a link on HuffPo about a new You Tube satirical sensation about the book biz. When I first read the article, I was ready to be offended. Instead, I fell off my chair (in laughter, not shock or just plain stupidity ).

With that lovely image in mind, enjoy this short video from aspiring author David Kazzie. Just don't drink anything while you watch--trust me. The animated bear-pig-dogs and their monotone computerized voices will likely make whatever liquid shoot out your nose.

A Tuesday Chuckle

It's been one heck of a month so far, at least for me. So, I thought I'd share a little lunchtime Tuesday chuckle with you all.

Better Book Titles is a clever website that retitles some classic--and some not-so-classic--novels and non-fiction titles based on the layman's perception of the book. Everyday BBT posts a new title.

Definitely take a peek at their archives for a good laugh--or take a stab at it and submit your own! Each Friday the bloggers will choose a reader's title to share!

Some of my favorites:

Go HERE for more Better Book Titles

Friday Funny from the Melbourne Writers Festival

One of our guest bloggers, Meghan Stevenson, brought this silly video from our friends down under to my attention recently.

It made me giggle...particularly number 9!




What random (and seemingly made-up) "fact" about books do YOU have to share?

A Little "Hump Day" Humor...Jane Austen style

Yesterday, our very own guest blogger LG posted a fabulous little video on her site, Big Girl, Bigger City--"Jane Austen's Fight Club."

According to the UK's Telegraph, this spoof trailer has gone viral very quickly, with 200,000 YouTube hits in just two days.

Just what is it, you ask? The Telegraph explains:

The video shows Lizzie Bennett and other Austen characters - including Emma and the Dashwoods - setting up an underground boxing club, in manner of the cult David Fincher film Fight Club.

Lizzie plays the role of Brad Pitt's character Tyler Durden: "The first rule of Fight Club is, one never mentions Fight Club".

The society ladies engage in fights on a croquet lawn and sit bleeding during high tea.

It is not the first 'mashup' of either Jane Austen's work or Fight Club. Recently, a book called "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" imagined what would happen if events in the Regency-era novel had been interrupted by an attack of the undead.

And a Funny or Die video called Ferris Club re-set the 1980s teen movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off with Ferris as Tyler and the hapless Cameron as Ed Norton's unnamed narrator, claiming to see the real psychological truth behind the John Hughes classic. "Cameron is not a beautiful and unique snowflake", it warns.

See the article HERE

And now, without further ado..."Jane Austen's Fight Club"

Thanks for the find, LG!

Want some Author Memorabilia? Try Dickens' Dog's Collar on For Size!

The Huffington Post is always good for some fun and random book news. Like yesterday's featured poll, for example: Surprising Author Auctioned Memoribilia.

Does your dog need a new collar? How about Charles's Dickens' embossed dog collar--for $11,590? Or if you aren't so canine-friendly, perhaps his gold-and-ivory toothpick would better suit you? Only $9,150!

OR you could have a locket of your very own, complete with a lock of Jane Austen's hair! For the low, low price of 4800 pounds!

Check out the slideshow HERE and let us know which YOU would bid on and why!

Boise Elder Makes Mayo-Book Sandwich? Huh?

So, the insanity here continues, so again, I apologize for my absence (this is why I need more guest bloggers!). It's not only insane in my little Danielle-bubble, though. An Idaho woman is also bringing on the crazy--with condiments.

The Associated Press announced late last night that an elderly woman--Joy Cassidy, according to The Weekly Vice)--in Boise has been going on a spree of condiment-related crimes. Her most recent hit? Pouring mayonaisse in a book drop at a local library:

Police said a 74-year-old woman arrested after pouring mayonnaise in the Ada County library's book drop box is a person of interest in a yearlong spree of condiment-related crimes of the same sort. The woman was arrested Sunday at the library, moments after police said she pulled through the outside drive-through and dumped an open jar of mayonnaise in the box designated for reading materials.

The woman was released from the county jail and faces a misdemeanor charge of malicious injury to property. Police did not disclose a motive.

Boise police said the woman is under investigation for at least 10 similar cases of vandalism since May 2009. Library employees have reported finding books in the drop box covered in corn syrup and ketchup.

See the post from the AP HERE

Also check out a hysterical and detailed account of the crime from The Weekly Vice HERE

Those of you who know me personally are fully aware of my hatred of condiments. That said, if I were a librarian and found the book drop full of any such substance, I would likely be scarred for life. This I know.

What I don't know, however, is why on earth does this woman find it necessary to dump condiments in a book drop? Is it simply a case of dementia, or just a really intense hatred of the written word?

An Early Morning Surprise Link

My friend Sophie sent me an e-mail last night. The subject was "I think you'll enjoy this." But all that was in the body of the text was a link.

So, of course, my curious nature made me click right away (just as yours will..muahahahaha):

RIGHT HERE.

Hilarious. Though I know some of my manly readers can do better.

So, let's have it boys. Go get yourself up there...and remember...