Hump Day Humor: Celebrity Slam Poetry, "Boy Meets World," and "Full House"

I have no words.

Except....AWESOME.

GalleyCat explains:

Just in time for National Poetry Month, Django Unchained actor Samuel L. Jackson recently appeared on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon and performed slam poetry about the 90′s American sitcom, Boy Meets World. 

In the video embedded above, Jackson makes references to the Corey-Topanga love story, theCorey-Shawn bromance, and Eric’s infamous “Feeny” call. 

According to Mental Floss, Fallon later asked Jackson whether or not he was a fan of Boy Meets World; Jackson admitted that it’s probable he had never even “seen one episode.” 

Back in 2012, Forrest Gump actor Tom Hanks came on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon to deliver a similar-stylized slam poetry performance about another iconic TV show, Full House.

See the original post HERE

BREAKING BAD's Bryan Cranston Breaks Into Publishing

The hit television show "Breaking Bad" was all the rage in the States a few years ago, spreading just in the past six months or so across the pond to the UK. And now, the craze seems to be shifting mediums as lead actor Bryan Cranston signs a deal with Simon & Schuster to pen a memoir about his time on the show.

The Los Angeles Times tells us more:

“With this book, I want to tell the stories of my life and reveal the secrets and lies that I lived with for six years shooting ‘Breaking Bad,’ ” Bryan Cranston said in the press release announcing his upcoming memoir. The as-yet-untitled book will be published by Scribner in 2015. 

Cranston won three best actor Emmy Awards portraying Walter White, the cancer-stricken chemistry teacher who turns to making methamphetamine to support his family. In the show's five seasons, White -- who in a desperate moment came up with the pseudonym Heisenberg -- went from everyman to drug kingpin. 

The role has become iconic -- Heisenberg T-shirts are available just about everywhere, including Wal-Mart. But Cranston, 58, has had a long career as an actor whose skills allowed him to play all kinds of roles. 

He was the father in the goofy TV comedy "Malcolm in the Middle," quietly appeared in the Oscar-winning drama "Argo" and is currently portraying Lyndon Johnson on Broadway. 

As he told Terry Gross in a recent interview on NPR's "Fresh Air," he had a difficult childhood as his parents' marriage dissolved. His father was a frustrated actor and alcoholic, and his mother also struggled with alcohol. For a time he and his brother lived with their grandparents, where they learned to slaughter chickens. 

The publisher promises that Cranston's book will be "a deeply candid work" and "offer fascinating insights into his early years, the craft of acting, and his experiences on the landmark series 'Breaking Bad.' ”

See the original post HERE

I'm not even halfway through watching the series myself (thank you, Netflix), but it's clear from just the very first few episodes how impactful a role like Walter White must have been on Cranston. Many of the actors involved (Aaron Paul, anyone?), in fact, surely have much worth sharing regarding the intensely emotional and suspenseful--and sometimes terrifying--show. I will definitely be snatching myself a copy of this baby when it hits the shelves!

Costner Co-writes New Adventure Series for S&S

Today's SHOCKING news: another celebrity has landed a book deal.

This time, Atria Books (an imprint of Simon & Schuster) has inked an agreement with actor Kevin Costner for a adventure series, according to GalleyCat:

Actor Kevin Costner has signed a book deal with Simon & Schuster’s Atria Books imprint for an adventure series. It begins with The Explorers Guild, Volume One: Passage to Shambhala in 2014. The book is aimed at a broad group of readers, ranging from “young adult to more mature mystery and adventure enthusiasts.”

Writer and art director Jon Baird (pictured, left) also worked on the project with Costner (middle), which will be illustrated by Rick Ross (middle). Rob Weisbach and Fonda Snyder at Rob Weisbach Creative Management negotiated the deal with publisher Judith Curr. Atria senior editor Sarah Durand and assistant editor Daniel Loedel will edit the book.

Here’s more from the release: “Behind the staid rooms of an old world gentlemen’s club operates a darker, more mysterious organization: The Explorers Guild, a clandestine group of adventurers who seek out the places where light gives way to shadow and reason is usurped by myth … Set against the backdrop of World War I, with Western Civilization spiraling into chaos, the first installment in The Explorers Guild series, A Passage to Shambhala, concerns the Guild’s quest to find Shambhala, the golden city of Buddhist myth. Each member is driven toward the City for a different reason: one believes that finding it will save his brother’s life; another hopes that it will reveal a path to spiritual enlightenment. Some believe the power of the city can be used to restore peace, while others are certain that Shambhala is responsible for bringing mankind to the brink of apocalypse.”

See the original post HERE

While the market seems to be more and more inundated with celeb authors, it's nice to see that Costner chose to co-write his book--and to publicly acknowledge it. What a strange concept for a celeb novelist! And while the plot sounds a little all over the place to me--and with way too broad a targeted audience--I'm somewhat intrigued.

Other celebs with book deals this week? Musician Carlos Santana and actress Jessica Lange.

Friday Fun: Author Interview Hilarity

For a little Friday morning laugh, please enjoy Steve Carrell and Jon Stewart's spoof on the author interview, brought to my attention by this morning's Shelf Awareness:  

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Steve Carell
www.thedailyshow.com
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Comic actor Steve Carell (The Office) appeared on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart this week as a stunningly prolific and wide-ranging author, promoting his new book The Last Pharaoh: Egypt's Transition from the Mubarak Era.

Apparently Carell is a fast writer ("I like to write a lot of books."); his recent titles include 50 Shades of Yams: The Erotic Adventures of Produce Pete; Steve Carell by Steve Jobs: How I Imagine Steve Jobs Would Have Written a Biography of Me; and Hot Enough for You? A Book I Literally Wrote Today.

Carell scolded Stewart for not reading his works prior to the interview: "I thought you were the type of person who did their homework before the show."

Celebrity Hunger Games Hilarity

This article and video on The Huffington Post about "Meet the Lost Tributes of 'The Hunger Games' Tributes" cracks me up like whoa. The video was originally created by MTV After Hours and is just what I needed for a little pick-me-up!

Get More: Movie Trailers, Movies Blog

Sure, we've all spent hours daydreaming about what it would be like to be part of the cast of "The Hunger Games," but have you ever wondered what the movie would have been like had your favorite famous actors played the tributes -- instead of unknowns?

Enter "The Lost 'Hunger Games' Tributes Speak," a hilarious three-minute MTV video featuring actors like Max Greenfield, Chris Colfer, Chloe Moretz, Amber Rose, Vinny Guadagnino, and Questlove, who are "interviewed" as "lost" members of the cast that were cut from the film. Now, the "lost tributes" break their silence on the special survival skills they would have brought into the stadium.

Chloe Moretz explains that her character's specialty is looking great. "My favorite part is in the script when she makes a break for the cornucopia, and she goes straight for the hair products. Impractical? Yeah. But just because you're fighting for your life doesn't mean you shouldn't have great hair volume."

On the other hand, Max Greenfield's character, "Chutney McDougalbart" from District 43, has a special talent for creating elaborate balloon animals that would surely have served him well in the stadium. And Questlove, of course, would have brought some awesome beats to the final battle scene between Katniss, Peeta and Kato as house DJ of the cornucopia.

Need more awesome "Hunger Games" videos to tide you over until "Catching Fire"? Check out a brilliant Beanie Baby recreation in the video below -- or, if mini stuffed animals aren't your thing, don't miss this surprisingly realistic Lego version of the "Hunger Games" trailer.

See the original post HERE

 Please also note the "Beanie Baby Hunger Games" at the end of the article. *dies*

Avoiding Reality with Spartacus

There is a lot going on in the publishing industry right now: Big-six publishers are implementing new e-only imprints, the Department of Justice is continuing its investigation, more people are suing Apple, etc. etc.It's a dramatic and volatile time. There is much to discuss!

However, I am not going to touch on any of that right now. Because, quite frankly, it is upsetting and makes me a little bit afraid about the future of this business that is my livelihood. Instead, I am going to tell you about something fun, something I am personally very excited about: Kirk Douglas has a book in the works...about the movie SPARTACUS.

The Associated Press fills us in:

At age 95, Kirk Douglas is not too old to give e-books a shot.

The legendary actor has an e-memoir coming out in June.

Titled "I Am Spartacus! Making a Film, Breaking the Blacklist," the book tells about the Roman epic that came out in 1960 and helped break Hollywood's ban against suspected Communists.

Douglas, who starred in the "Spartacus" movie and helped produce it, reveals that Dalton Trumbo wrote the screenplay after the blacklisted Trumbo had worked throughout the 1950s under assumed names.

The book includes a foreword by George Clooney. It is being released by Open Road Integrated Media, a digital publisher that announced the deal Monday. An audio edition will be narrated by Douglas' actor-son Michael Douglas.

See the post HERE in the Washington Post

To put it simply: I am stoked about this book. I am a huge fan of SPARTACUS. I watched it for the first time in early high school (or late middle school..I can't quite remember haha), but became obsessed, bought the VHS and proceeded to watch it over and over and over again. Just this past year I tracked it down on DVD so now I can watch it again whenever I so choose. I will still never stop laughing about the scene where Sparty drowns the prison guard in a pot of soup. Ahh, classic.

Celebs Knocking Celebs--Funny or Fickle?

When skimming the Books page at HuffingtonPost.com this morning, a headline caught my eye: 'Celebrity Autobiography: The Next Chapter' Finds Unintended Humor in Stars' Memoirs.

At first I thought, "Oh man, this is going to be great!" but as I clicked in and started reading, I realized...it's kind of just mean! I know that's part of being famous and you open yourself up to scrutiny, especially when you write a not-so-good book, but come on now. Yes, some of it is hilarious, I'll admit, and the fact that many celebs have signed on to have their own work mocked is telling, but can't we create fresh humor anymore instead of just busting on other people for laughs? I've never been much for this kind of humor--SNL's constant people-bashing bothers me and only ever so often do I find those kinds of impressions actually funny. I don't get it...it's like sports fans who, instead of cheering for their own team, just put down the other teams. It drives me crazy!

I guess this turned to a slight rant about media these days in general and their lack of originality.
Whoops.

Anyway, take a peek at what the HuffPo has to say (and watch a sample video) and choose for yourself. I'm undecided:

Among the many lessons you'll learn when attending "Celebrity Autobiography: The Next Chapter": Joining the "mile-high" club is a lot more physically demanding, and considerably less erotic, than it looks. Italian really is the language of love -- at least for one of the world's biggest pop superstars.

And finally, don't ever, ever f**k with America's sweetheart.

Ironically, a bevy of America's sweethearts both past and present are among the many celebrities given a humorous roast in "Celebrity Autobiography," the laugh-out-loud, endearingly kitschy show currently playing at New York's Triad Theatre. A unique comedy stand-up/cabaret/one-act theatrical hybrid, the show features a talented rotating cast (many of them well-known stars or media personalities in their own right) reading verbatim, usually with a wink and a nudge, from a vast array of celebrity memoirs. The self-indulgent, often eye-rollingly smug musings of a number of Hollywood and MTV A-listers, from Justin Bieber to Suzanne Somers to Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, lend the show its crispy comedic edge.

The show is a mix of monologues using straightforward passages read aloud from a given book and what creator Eugene Pack likes to call "mash-ups": different celebs' accounts on a similar theme (for example, celebrity diets) or a specific incident (a clever segment that weaves together varying accounts of the Elizabeth Taylor/Eddie Fisher/Debbie Reynolds love triangle is one of show's highlights). Yet Pack insists the show is meant purely for humor rather than to be mean-spirited toward the material's A-list, and often legendary, authors.

"When you listen to these passages, it's funny to discover what people are willing to reveal, how they reveal it and how seriously they take it," Pack, who says he developed the idea for the show after reading excerpts of Vanna White's autobiography, told The Huffington Post. "We don't ever want the show to be perceived as being skewering of celebrities. A lot of the performers in the show are actually admirers and, in some cases, close friends of those who wrote the books. If anything, we're making fun of memoirs in their own right and why we, as an audience, are fascinated by these details."

Once Pack had firmed up the idea for "Celebrity Autobiography," he and co-producer Dayle Reyfel began scouting out material for the show via used book shops as well as the hottest new releases on the celebrity memoir market. The pair continue to refresh the evening's program with fresh passages; over 300 biographies have been covered in the show to date.

"You usually can skim through the book and see if the tone is right for the show," noted Reyfel, who also performs regularly. "Burt Reynolds has so much great material in his book; some books really are golden from beginning to end."

No doubt the success of "Celebrity Autobiography" also rests on the shoulders of its many performers. The Oct. 10 line-up featured Tony Danza, "Saturday Night Live" alum Rachel Dratch and Sherri Shepherd of "The View" (who revealed a surprisingly natural talented for mimicking celebrities' accents) but Kristen Wiig, Ryan Reynolds, Justin Long and even "Brady Bunch" matriarch Florence Henderson are among those who've also dropped in for a performance.

"It's a wonderful surprise for the audience," said "Saturday Night Live" and "Curb Your Enthusiasm" scribe Alan Zweibel, a regular performer in the show who lends a particularly dry wit to most of his readings. After recalling one night when he was required to physically lick Henderson during the show, Zweibel noted that, in many cases, the unintended joke is actually on the audience rather than the authors: "What's pervasive is the absolute, unmitigated ego of these celebrities who think that we care about these minute details of their lives. At the same time, everybody's got a story, and there is always someone out there who is buying these things."

Reyfel says she and Pack also maintain a running "wish list" of performers they hope to eventually feature in the show, including Ricky Gervais and Bette Midler. And to those who feel "Celebrity Autobiography" is too harsh on their idols, Pack is quick to point out that celebrities themselves have, in some cases, even suggested their memoirs for use in the show. "Brooke Shields wants us to read from her book," noted Pack. "Everyone usually seems game to jump in and really go for it."

See the original post HERE

He Didn't Start the Fire

Sometimes a story just isn't meant to be told. Too often it's the readers to figure that fact out, but in this case, would-be memoirist Billy Joel was the first to say STOP, let's not start that fire.

Earlier this month, the Grammy-award-winning musician cancelled the publication of his memoir, which was only mere months away from release.

Deciding he didn't want to rehash his life story after writing the full manuscript, Joel is getting my utmost respect on this one. Sure, there will be disappointed fans, but not everything we write should see the light of day. Sometimes, it's just for us--the writers. And if Joel wants to give back his advance and keep his story his own, more power to him.

PopEater.com tells us more:

While everyone who has ever raised a toast to 'Captain Jack' or asked the 'Piano Man' to sing them a song was looking forward to reading Billy Joel's memoirs -- originally slated for release this summer -- they're going to have to wait a whole lot longer. Like, forever.

Joel has canceled the publication of his autobiography, 'The Book of Joel,' even after handing in a complete manuscript.

"It took working on writing a book to make me realize that I'm not all that interested in talking about the past," Joel told theAssociated Press. "The best expression of my life and its ups and downs has been and remains my music."

The publisher, HarperCollins, confirmed to the AP on Thursday that they have the finished manuscript in hand but that they have been forced to cancel their planned first run of 250,000 copies due to Joel's decision.

The book was said to contain not only the story of his rise to fame and fortune but also his failed marriages and substance abuse problems.

See the original post HERE

Book Review: Unbearable Lightness

It's been a little under a year since William Morris Endeavor announced the sale of Portia de Rossi's memoir to a at-the-time-discreet publisher. But now, de Rossi's book, Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain, sits on the shelves, touting the Atria Publishing logo on its spine. It also happens to be sitting on my bookshelf at home, its binding happily cracked and pages fully read--and autographed by the author to some girl named Christine, might I add (it was a leftover copy from a signing courtesy of my dear friend, Rachel).

If you recall, when the book deal went public last year, I was surprised. I didn't know much about de Rossi, hadn't seen her in anything, but was inexplicably intrigued. Since then, I've watched her in "Arrested Development" and "Better Off Ted," her comedic acting chops--and her phenomenal beauty--glaringly evident. Naturally, my desire to read her memoir increased exponentially.

And I've gotta say, I was not disappointed.

Unbearable Lightness is a powerful, no-holds-barred story of de Rossi's struggle with body image, eating disorders, societal expectations, and her sexuality. With beautifully constructed prose written by de Rossi herself--a refreshing change for the celebrity publication--she transports the reader into her mind and her body.

At times, the things running through de Rossi's head--the fears, the voices demanding more of her, the justifications--seem excessive and unrealistic, but it's immediately apparent that that's kind of the point. The distorted views of a scared, sick, and sensitive soul aren't reasonable or sensible. They just are. And when you can't understand them, when you know they are wrong but can't seem to fight back, that's when it's the most palpable and traumatic. It's also when it's the hardest to overcome.

De Rossi, however, fought her demons and won. It took a trip to the hospital and diagnoses of lupus, osteoporosis, and more, to get her on the road to recovery but she made the journey. Her struggle and success is inspiring and hopeful for any who have ever experienced any of the thoughts de Rossi so craftily expresses. I had a few issues with some of the narrative drive, at times feeling like the multiple themes de Rossi tackled weren't coming together quite cohesively enough. I also wasn't a fan of the lengthy epilogue, wishing it had been written as part of the story itself and having her recovery process fleshed out in more detail. But I understand why it was structured the way it was, and really, there are more significant aspects of this book. Its impressive conveyance of de Rossi's hardships, for one.

Though I haven't personally experienced any of de Rossi's specific situations, I have--like most women of my generation--dealt with issues of body image, weight, and self-hate. And I will admit, that de Rossi hits the nail on the head, to be cliched. I too have heard that voice in my head telling me I'm too fat, that I'm too ugly to succeed in my career, to find love, to be worthy of, well, anything.

It's such a logically ridiculous concept, but society has burned it into our brains and, as much as I wish it hadn't affected me, I can't lie and say it hasn't. The thoughts still happen on a weekly basis, but I've learned to listen to them less and to tell them to scram when they start to take hold.

In college I had a particularly difficult time with it though. (Yes, I'm going into personal-story mode now...). I had gained about 25 pounds my first year of college--freshman 15 my big butt!--and when I was home for the summer and put on a bathing suit, I was distraught. I decided that I was going to turn things around, that I was going to loss all the weight I gained through exercise and eating better. I was also in a long-distance relationship and terrified that my boyfriend at the time was going to cheat on me since I was so far away and had gained so much weight. There were much thinner, prettier girls at his disposal and I was crazy if I thought he wouldn't jump at the chance if it arose--or so the voice in my head told me. So, I had to get in shape. I had to.

So, I started eating much less--I never counted calories, but I certainly restricted my diet, limiting my sugar intake (a particularly difficult feat for someone with the biggest sweet tooth in the, umm, world) and eating loads of salad, rice cakes with peanut butter, and such, and ignoring my stomach's grumbles when I was still hungry after my meal. I also started working out regularly--going to the gym to alternate cardio to shed fat with weight lifting to tone 4-5 days a week.

It wasn't too excessive, but my mindset shifted. If I missed a day at the gym or ate an extra cookie when I hadn't allotted it, I beat myself up psychologically. I would get angry and feel disgusting, often resorting to measuring myself in various spots and keeping a record to stare at when I was failing. I became obsessed with looking in the mirror to pick apart my body, to point out every teeny tiny flaw and make myself feel like crap until I left my dorm and went to the gym. I never thought of myself as having a disorder--and maybe I didn't, who knows--but my then boyfriend certainly commented, expressing his concern that I was obsessing over my weight and appearance when he thought I was the most beautiful, sexist girl he'd ever seen. I was furious when he said those things, thinking he was lying to me just to humor me. I'd get irritable and we'd argue. I'd be upset and he'd be frustrated. At the time, I didn't understand--I didn't get why he was so annoyed that I was trying to look better for him. But I see it now: the thoughts I was having, the obsessions, were simply unhealthy.

We broke up a year later, despite the fact that I shed all the weight I'd wanted. I'd gone from 150 back to 125. The break up devastated me though and my appetite disappeared completely. I went from 125 to 110 in about a week and a half. I'm not sure how that's even possible, but it happened. Then I dropped two more pounds to 108. That's when the comments about my being "too thin" began. I denied it for a while, happy to fit into clothes I hadn't worn in ages, but one day, I looked in the mirror as I was getting in the shower and saw what everyone else saw--bones jutting out, once-strong hips looking weak, the small amount of fat I did have sagged off my bones. It was time to eat again, to snap out of my stupor. This is also when I started drinking for the first time. The combo shot me back up to about 135, and the partying I was experiencing for the first time (and my exercise regime going by the wayside) pushed me back to 140. I was now not caring. With my knee injury occurring shortly thereafter, I cared even less, justifying my lack of activity.

About a year after I hit 108 though, I was back to about 130--a weight that I'm learning is my "healthy weight," the same in fact, as Portia de Rossi's. I focused on eating healthier, silencing the voices, letting myself slack once and a while without giving myself a lecture for it, and doing what I could to exercise without overdoing it and hurting myself. All in all, a much, MUCH healthier routine.

I still struggle with it on a regular basis, as I don't think these kinds of things ever really completely go away (not to mention the fact that I still have a bad knee so my activity is limited), but as de Rossi shares in her pretty incredible memoir, you learn to control it, to be the one in charge of the voice and not the other way around. You just learn to be better.

The Last Word: A moving, relatable, and superbly crafted memoir that any girl who's had even a speck of low self-confidence will find inspiring in one way or another.

Celebs, Celebs, Everywhere

This week, Boldtype and Flavorwire just had too many hilarious and/or interesting articles to choose from! But after much deliberation, I've decided to share with you a little something called "The Year in Disturbing Celebrity Book Deals."

As the year winds down, I can think of several celeb memoirs or novels that lack literary merit, if you will. I can also think of another dozen-plus number of celeb proposals that were nixed by the editorial board at my last job. Weekly meetings at publishing houses all throughout New York get the frequent proposal claiming to be the next celeb bestseller.

Some of these ideas percolate in-house where an editor then reaches out to a manager or an agent, and some come from the celeb directly. Some are hits, some are massive bombs. And some, you just can't believe ever made it through the grueling acquisitions process.

Boldtype/Flavorwire present what they deem the worst celeb books of 2010:

Celebrity book deals practically exist to piss us off. While there are certainly exceptions to the rule (such as the recent, glowingly reviewed tomes by Jay-Z and Steve Martin, as well as Patti Smith’s National Book Award-winning memoir), most stars just aren’t writers. And few things are more annoying — especially for those of us who write for a living, or have aspirations of doing so — than the news that a functionally illiterate reality TV star is preparing to “write” a memoir, children’s book, or novel. After the jump, we take a look at the year’s most irritating examples, from the Salahis to Snooki.

Susan Boyle

Curious about what Boyle, who rose to fame as the frumpy 47-year-old virgin with a beautiful voice, has been doing all her life? We aren’t, but that didn’t stop British publisher Transworld from handing the singer a deal to write the memoir The Woman I Was Born to Be about the making of an unlikely diva. As she said in a statement, “When I strutted on to the stage for that audition, I was a scared wee lassie, still grieving for my mother, not caring how I looked. I think I’ve grown up a lot in the last year, become more of a lady, and I’m not so frightened anymore.” Okay, we stopped reading after “wee lassie,” but — “wee lassie”! There is someone in the world who actually talks like this! Sold.

Tyra Banks

Because she thinks she’s Oprah, Tyra Banks is trying to conquer all spheres of media as quickly as possible. So, back in May, she signed a deal with Random House to write a trilogy of YA books, beginning with Modelland, about “a fantastical place you’ve never seen, or heard about, or read about before … Where dreams come true and life can change in the blink of a smoky eye.” This sounds like it’s going to be really great for teen girls’ self esteem!

Michaele and Tareq Salahi

Apparently, being stupid enough to crash a state dinner at the White House will now win you a book deal. In June, we learned that the pair would be writing a memoir about the stunt — because that will surely provide hundreds of pages worth of material — with the help of investigative reporter Diane Diamond. The resulting book, Cirque du Salahi, came out in September and was credited solely to Dimond. It currently has a whopping 1.5 out of 5 stars on Amazon.

The Situation

You might ask, “How is it possible to write a book when you’ve never read a book?” It’s a good question, and one that Sitch’s “co-author” Chris Millis might be in the best position to answer. Back in July, welearned about the book deal, and less than four months later, publisher Gotham crapped out Here’s the Situation: A Guide to Creeping on Chicks, Avoiding Grenades, and Getting in Your GTL on the Jersey Shore. If nothing else, it would make a good Christmas present for someone you secretly hate.

Paul the Octopus

Yes, the octopus who accurately predicted the outcome of every single German World Cup game landed a book deal for his trouble. Unfortunately, the two-and-a-half-year-old sea creature died back in October. Perhaps he’ll be releasing material posthumously, like Biggie and Tupac?

Snooki

Not only is TV’s favorite pickle-loving Oompah-Loompah the second Jersey Shore cast member to break into publishing, but she’s writing what she might call “a friggin’ novel.” Titled A Shore Thing, the book, which was announced in September, is supposedly coming out in January and “will revolve around a girl looking for love on the boardwalk (one full of big hair, dark tans, and fights galore).” Hey, write what you know, right?

Christine O’Donnell

The year’s final insult is one of its worst: instead of disappearing forever after losing the election, the tea party Senate candidate from Delaware is going to write a book. According to Politico, the book will recount her experience in the 2010 election — because, you know, we didn’t hear enough about it while it was happening. “I plan on making my book one of the revolution’s catalysts,” O’Donnell said. So… goody. Look for it in August of next year. Or, you know, don’t.

See the original piece HERE

I'm pleased to see the two, why-the-heck-are-they-famous-they're-so-freakin-annoying "Jersey Shore" disasters on there, I must admit. Those were the first two I thought of when I saw the headline for the piece.

What do YOU think are the biggest celeb book mistakes of the year?

T-Swift for Literacy

Those of you who know me in real life are likely aware of my love of Taylor Swift. And this morning, Publishers Marketplace is feeding into my obsession (if seeing her perform in Rockefeller Plaza earlier this week wasn't enough!) with an article from The Charlotte Observer that makes me love T-Swift even more:

Studying hard can bring sweet rewards, like screaming "We love you!" to Taylor Swift from seats that match the color of Clifford the Big Red Dog.

The Grammy Award-winning superstar stopped by the headquarters of Scholastic Inc. on Wednesday and chatted and performed at the publisher's downstairs auditorium, where about 200 grade-schoolers and middle-schoolers, most of them girls, had received a break from class to see Swift talk about reading and writing. The children had been selected by their schools because of improvement in their reading scores.

"I think that smart kids are the coolest kids," Swift, wearing a dark-blue cotton dress with red and white flowers and two-tone high heel shoes, said to much delight as she was interviewed on stage by "America's Got Talent" host Nick Cannon.

The 20-year-old singer-songwriter, who has been busy promoting her new CD, "Speak Now," shared songwriting tips (imagine you're writing a letter, she advised), childhood reading memories and repeated plugs for books as a path to a better life.

"(Without books) You can let little things pass you by, little details," she said. "Like, say you're driving down the road and there's just this really beautiful autumn tree and it has these gorgeous orange leaves. You might just let that pass you by if you have never read books that describe how beautiful they are, from somebody else's perspective."

Swift did more than talk. She sang a few lines from one of her favorite songs, Faith Hill's "This Kiss," and was joined by her band at the end to perform her new single, "Mine."

The children made their own music, spontaneously singing along when Swift's "You Belong With Me" was played on the house sound system before she arrived.

Swift, a native of Wyomissing, Pa., whose first record came out when she was 16, said she had always been a reader and was encouraged by her parents and teachers. She started writing poetry in second grade and by fourth grade had enough courage to enter a poem, "Monster in My Closet," in a national poetry contest. (She didn't win, she says, but she did place.) Studying "Romeo and Juliet" in ninth grade helped inspire her Top 10 single "Love Story."

She also said she loved "Sesame Street" books growing up and was inspired by the stories of Dr. Seuss because of their rhymes.

"A lot of people who gravitate toward music are really, really sort of drawn to poetry because the words all have a rhythm and it comes together just right," she said. "I love poetry, because if you get it right, if you put the right rhymes at the right ends of the sentences, you can almost make words bounce off a page."

Responding to student questions, Swift said she enjoyed authors who had a "a very conversational style to their writing" and was drawn most to books that dramatized history, perhaps about a "girl during the Revolutionary War." She said reading made her a better songwriter because it helps you with "understanding metaphors" and "how to paint a picture with a song."

Asked how to encourage children who don't like to read, she suggested not taking on too much, perhaps starting with a short story or even a newspaper.

"It doesn't have to be a big, thick, long book," she said. "You don't have to pick up something that looks scary."

On stage, Swift cited Harper Lee's "To Kill a Mockingbird" as a favorite. Interviewed briefly at a post-show reception, Swift said she loved the novel, set in the South in the 1950s, because of how it was narrated from a child's point of view.

"The main character didn't exactly know what was going on, but the reader does," she said. "It's all portrayed in an interesting way, all the huge issues in the book, like civil right, come from a children's perspective. It's an interesting way to tell a story."

Swift is part of a new Scholastic promotional campaign, "You are What You Read," for which authors, celebrities and public figures from Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton to "Percy Jackson" novelist Rick Riordan choose favorite books. Swift's picks include E.B. White's "Charlotte's Web" and Elizabeth Gilbert's memoir on divorce and recovery, "Eat, Pray, Love," not a surprising choice for a songwriter known for her romantic laments and explorations.

Swift said during the reception that she was enjoying Gilbert's most recent book, "Committed," in which the author marries the Brazilian man she met in "Eat, Pray, Love."

"Listening to her talk at seminars, especially one that I YouTubed, where she was talking about trying to create her followup project, it made me cry," Swift said. "It was so inspirational."

See the entire article HERE

The "You are What You Read" campaign was initially launched as a social networking site and is part of a larger global literacy program "Read Every Day. Lead a Better Life."

I'm thrilled that so many celebrities are getting involved in this fantastic cause. They have an amazing--if at times unfair--amount of pull and influence, particularly when it comes to kids and young adults, and I love to see that power being used to encourage people to read.

UPDATE: Frost Gives on Some of Law's Requests

I'm quite pleased to report that Jude Law and Sadie Frost have come to an agreement regarding Frost's upcoming memoir after Law pursued legal action, according to The Guardian:

Jude Law has agreed terms with ex-wife Sadie Frost after issuing legal proceedings to prevent images of their children appearing in her upcoming memoir in order to protect their privacy.

Justice Tugendhat granted a permanent injunction by consent at the high court in London today after Law and Frost reached an agreement that will see certain passages relating to their turbulent marriage cut and all photographs of the children removed.

It emerged last week that Law was seeking an injunction against Frost and Blake Publishing, which intends to publish the memoir Crazy Days later this year, because of concerns for the privacy and welfare of their three children.

"My client Jude Law issued proceedings against Blake Publishing and Sadie Frost, as he was concerned about certain passages in Ms Frost's forthcoming autobiography as well as the proposed publication of photographs of his children," said Mark Thomson, partner at law firm Atkins Thomson, which represents Law. "Mr Law is pleased that the parties have been able to resolve this speedily; he has been able to protect his and his children's privacy and Ms Frost is able to proceed with her latest project."

Read the entire article HERE

May I just say, this kind of rocks my socks.

Jude Law Asks Court to Disallow Ex-Wife's Memoir

I know I've touched upon this more than once, but celebs love writing their memoirs. But, for the first time since this blog's inception, there's a celeb trying to stop a memoir from publishing.

Richard Kay of the UK's Daily Mail reported today that actor Jude Law (who was AWESOME in Hamlet on Broadway, btw) is trying to get an injunction to stop the publication of his ex-wife Sadie Frost's memoir:

Their life has often resembled a kitchen-sink drama, but the relationship between Jude Law and Sadie Frost has reached a new low.

For I can reveal the actor finally lost patience with his ex-wife over her plans to write her memoirs — and has begun court proceedings to halt her divulging the secrets of their turbulent marriage.

‘Jude is trying to injunct her to stop the book,’ I am told.

The memoir, which she is writing herself, is called Crazy Days. It is due to be published in October, and is said to be well advanced.

‘She’s poured her heart into this and is upset and hurt by what Jude has done,’ a friend of the actress-turned-designer tells me. ‘She thought they were getting on very well — and suddenly he’s serving a 100-page writ.

‘It’s ironic, because he had been at her house earlier in the day and they discussed the book, which is going to be very honest. She knows he has reservations, but she’s let him read bits of it. She’s astonished he’s taken this step.’

It is understood Law, who is expected to marry actress Sienna Miller this summer, is concerned revelations about their ­turbulent marriage could upset the couple’s three children, Rafferty, 14, Iris, ten, and Rudy, eight.

He also does not want pictures of the children, whose privacy he fiercely protects, appearing.

The book is expected to lift the lid on Sadie’s colourful life in North London, where she became queen bee of the louche, so-called ‘Primrose Hill posse’.

It spans her childhood, acting career and entry into the fashion world — as well as her marriage and break-up with Law.

Friends of Sadie insist the book is about her story, not about her ex-husband's, or that of close friends like Kate Moss.

Law, 37, and Frost, 44, wed in 1997 and divorced in 2003. The Alfie star then took up with Sienna, but they split up in 2005 after his affair with their nanny, Daisy Wright.

Read more HERE

I must say that I commend Jude for being so protective of his children. And while I firmly believe that truth always comes out, whether it happen now or later, I agree that the public forum is not the place to let that truth unfold. It's not a place you should air your dirty laundry, no matter how famous you are. If it's avoidable, avoid it. Sit your kids down and tell them what they need to know and deal with the rest yourselves. If when the kids are grown, you decide you must write a tell-all about it, then no one's stopping you, but while your kids are kids, don't cause them more trauma than you already have.

Of course, even with that said, I am curious as to whether there is also a selfish motive in Jude's request for injunction as well. It's already well-known that he had an affair with now-fiance Sienna Miller, but what else is Jude hiding? Frankly, despite its curious nature, it's still none of our business. That's between Jude, Sadie, their kids, and the courts.

Macmillan's Secret "Unghosted" Acquisition

Today, a new Hollywood memoirist came out of the woodwork--actor Rob Lowe.

Henry Holt, an imprint of Macmillan, will be publishing the tome, said to be written by Lowe himself sans ghostwriter:

Macmillan is just now announcing an acquisition it made in the fall of 2009, when Steve Rubin, president and publisher of Henry Holt, bought Rob Lowe's memoir, Stories I Only Tell My Friends. The publisher said the manuscript came in as a "confidential submission" because Lowe is writing the book himself and all parties wanted to keep the work under wraps until the first chapters had come together. The title is now slated for May 2011, with Holt's Gillian Blake editing.

In the book, Lowe details his career as well as his personal life, including his experiences as a father and his battle to get sober. In chronicling his 40-year career, Lowe offers a glimpses from his days as a child actor in Ohio, his stint in Malibu in the 1970s, through his time as a teen idol in the 1980s. Holt took world rights from Jennifer Rudolph Walsh at William Morris Endeavor.

See the PW announcement HERE

When I first saw this deal, I was kind of stoked, I'm not going to lie--I was also kind of ADD.

As a big-time "Brothers & Sisters" fan, it first reminded me that I have a couple more episodes to watch before I'm done the most recent season.

Then the pop-culture-hungry teenager in me was like "Oooh, I wonder if he'll talk about his alleged 2008 "nanny-scandal"!?!?

Only after that inner-squeal did my brain settled down a little and reveal to me the true topic of this post: ghostwriters.

We all know what a ghostwriter is (and if you don't, click here--I won't tell.) But what we don't know--unless we're privy to the inner-workings of a big trade publishing house--is whether or not celebrity authors can really write or if someone else is doing it for them.

The cynic in me is always skeptical when a celeb, like Mr. Lowe here, claims that he/she will be writing every down him/herself. Yes, it's stereotypical and unfair, but I think the majority of the population also questions the truth of such statements.

On a practical level, with all these celebs do, when do they even find the time to write? I can't imagine they can actually juggle that much work/social butterfly-ing/political agenda-ing/etc. and have time left over to write a book. Then on a more embarassing level, I wonder if they're even capable of writing something clear, concise, and engaging enough to sell for any reason other than who they are? We know they can recite some lines in a reasonable numberof takes, but can they really write such clever lines?

I know for a fact that some authors are very hands-on with their approach to writing, whether it be as a memoir a la Born Standing Up by Steve Martin--or fiction like L.A. Candy by Lauren Conrad. But more often than not, celebs get a little help from their friends the ghostwriters.

But perhaps more important than whether or not they have a ghostwriter is wheter or not it even matters. It's a celeb's name that sells a book, not the quality, accuracy, or truthfulness or the content.

Heck, sometimes, a celeb just needs to carry a book and it becomes an instant bestseller.

What do YOU think about ghostwriting for the rich and famous?

Do you have a favorite celeb memoir/novel to recommend?

(If not, Ben Kenber of AssociatedContent.com sure does! Check it out HERE)

Portia De Rossi's Got Something to Say

When I heard about Portia De Rossi's memoir coming out this fall, I was surprised to say the least. All I knew about her is that she's married to Ellen DeGeneres and she's freakin' gorgeous, despite her rail thin figure. I honestly never thought of her as having much to say with her quiet and seemingly shy demeanor--especially in contrast to her outgoing, comedian wife. But now I shall eat my words.

Mmm words, yum.

De Rossi seems to have a lot to say. She has strong beliefs, morals, and a personality I knew nothing of (not to say I would ever claim to actually know her personality, never having met her). And I've gotta admit, I'm stoked for her memoir after reading this cover story in Advocate Magazine on the mag's website:

The lady has something to say.

Maybe she always did, but she didn’t always know it. For a very long time she swallowed words instead of food. When she did speak she answered as if in character, imitating the kind of woman her publicists and costars told her young actresses should be.

That was the deal Hollywood offered: Forget being smart. Forget being a feminist. Forget that year of law school. And definitely forget being gay. Be “Portia de Rossi,” an Australian ingenue. Rolling Stone’s “hot bombshell” cover girl. A modern Rapunzel with silky blond hair bewitching an audience simply by unpinning a tightly knit bun.

Be miserable and self-destructive.

“It was a very difficult dichotomy to live in,” she says now. “Oh, I’m Portia. I’m fresh and new to Hollywood. I just found myself in Ally McBeal. Now I’m in my underwear and sleeping with my boss even though I don’t want to portray women in the workplace that way. All of these things were tearing me apart. Plus—” Her mouth quirks up. “I was gay, did I mention?”

A self-described “staunch feminist,” she was stuck on a show that famously led Time magazine to ask “Is Feminism Dead?” Its leading ladies seemed to shrink in size with every episode, and the only on-set rumor that came close to challenging the popularity of “Does everyone on Ally have an eating disorder?” was “Is that hot blond gay?”

Today, De Rossi is a walking, talking advertisement for happiness. “I talk about everything more now than I used to,” she says. She writes about it too, in a book that she discusses for the first time publicly with The Advocate.

[...]

The book that has emerged is “definitely not self-help” and not quite a memoir—“I hate that term”—though it is absolutely autobiographical and, given her built-in platform—DeGeneres has shamelessly promoted Better Off Ted on-air—poised to be a best seller.

The story starts in 1997 (when her acting career took off) and goes through 2004 (when she began dating DeGeneres), with flashbacks to her childhood. “I abused my body. I had bulimia. I would use fen-phen. I wanted to talk about all that. But obviously I can’t do that without talking about my sexuality. And although you can’t really talk about one without the other, it still felt like two stories. The only thing that linked the two of them was me.”

And it’s not always easy going. “It’s been a difficult but revealing process,” she says. Losses she thought she’d fully grieved, such as her father’s death when she was 9, have been confusing, if cathartic, to write through. “You go back and you experience these emotions that you thought weren’t there any more.”

So now the woman who once was terrified to speak about her life is a writer. The book leaves convenient room for a sequel spanning her life with DeGeneres. And, she says, “I would like to try my hand at a novel at one point.” One thing she’s not interested in trying is screenwriting. “I’m just not drawn to it,” she says. “I still love acting. It’s the easiest of all of it for me.”

Read the rest of the fantastic article

(trust me, it's worth it!)

HERE

De Rossi's book was sold by William Morris Endeavor co-head Jennifer Rudolph Walsh, but I can't for the life of me track down who she sold it to. Even Publishers Marketplace isn't listing the mysterious publisher. I wonder why...

The Selfish Side of Memoirs

Anytime a celeb/news-worthy memoir pops up at my publishing house's editorial meetings, one question is asked: Is it no-holds-barred?

Readers always want the dirt, the behind-the-scenes story. People are fascinated by each other. But more often than not, the tellers of such tales couldn't care less. They only want the money.

For example, take Conrad Murray, Michael Jackson's doctor who is being indicted for manslaughter and still wants shop around a book. The Daily News reported Sunday:

Michael Jackson's embattled physician, Dr. Conrad Murray, is quietly trying to sell his story, we hear.

With a possible manslaughter indictment sapping his assets, Murray is said to be hoping that a book and/or movie deal could be the perfect hypodermic for a quick cash infusion.

Famed writer-producer Lawrence Schiller confirms that he recently got a call from "an interested party" asking for his advice on how Murray's story could be turned into a book and documentary.

Read more HERE

Everyone wants their 15 minutes of fame, even famous people, and they want it for a price. It's so disturbing to me that people are so greedy, especially when it revolves around tragedy, i.e. someone's death, like MJ, or someone's kidnapping, rape, and torture a la Jaycee Dugard (one of the women previously assaulted by Dugard's kidnapper was shopping around a book, very obviously meant for its monetary gain, not for any greater purpose).

If these stories were being told for a genuine reason, if they were meant to teach a lesson or show a side of a the truth readers might not understand otherwise, then that's okay by me. But more often than not, they aren't--just look at OJ Simpson's thankfully cancelled book, If I Did It if you need another example. 

Whatever happened to telling stories because they are powerful and moving and heartfelt? Memoirs have the potential to be some of the most influential works of writing, and people these days seem to squander that ability. 

One author who doesn't though: Jeannette Walls. While she was never a celebrity in her own right prior to her first book The Glass Castle, she most certainly told her story for a reason. But I'll tell you more about that another day. 

(Yes, this is my own little version of a teaser for a post yet to come on a lecture I attended by Walls, so keep reading!)

Celebrities: A New Publicity Tool?

Publishers use all kinds of publicity and marketing tricks to sell books. They toil over their mailing lists to decide which reviwers to solicit to write up something nice about a title, they beg radio and television hosts to interview an author, they even push authors in the direction of key events to get their name out there. But one tactic they don't employ--and perhaps should since it seems to work like a charm!--is to somehow get a celebrity just to casually tote a book around so the papparazzi can get a nice juicy shot of it. See Angelina Jolie above, for example. 

These bookworm celebs vary from week-to-week: Angelina, James Franco, Paris Hilton. But the one celeb who publishers know can make or break a book, and always will have that ability, is Oprah. Her book club is probably the most widely known and trusted book club in the world. If she likes a book, you can bet your boots that thousands of people are going out the very next day to their local booksellers to buy it. Her choices--like Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides and The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett in 2007--instantly skyrocket in sales and climb their way up the bestseller lists. If Oprah wants it, so does everyone else. 

But it seems she has some hearty competition. In President Obama.

Today, Politico.com reported that all five books on Obama's "summer reading list" have shot up in gross sales since it was announced:

The Way Home" shot up to No. 328 on Amazon.com's Best Seller list Tuesday
from No. 33,349 when Obama's list was first announced Monday. The others
followed suit. "A Lush Life"? From No. 74,289 to No. 10,295 on Wednesday.
"Hot, Flat and Crowded"? From No. 231 to No. 41 on Wednesday. "John Adams"?
No. 14,301 to No. 7,067 on Wednesday. And "Plainsong" rocketed to to as high
as No. 189 from its Monday position of No. 8,155.

And even though the likelihood of the President reading every page in his summer reading list is slim ("at a collective 2,300 pages, Obama would have to pour through 300 pages a day while on vacation," acording to politico.com), people are racing to their computers and clicking away at Amazon.com to read along with the Pres. Just as they did when he was spotted reading The Post-American World by Fareed Zakarie.

Ethical or not, aware of it or not, celebs have all the power when it comes to selling products. Just as Michael Jordan helped Nike sell millions of shoes, familiar faces from the President to Oprah to Angelina Jolie and are helping to sell books like it's nobody's business.

If only us normal folks' opinions were held in such high esteem.